i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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