She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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