Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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