Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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