I wanna passion pit in your ass
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
