i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
