my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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