Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.

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  (323): my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation. http://tfl.nu/m27j
  Replies (9) Good night (770) Bad night (3730)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous

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  (519): Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous http://tfl.nu/zfcd
  Replies (10) Good night (4954) Bad night (932)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.

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  (812): I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me. http://tfl.nu/jath
  Replies (6) Good night (3123) Bad night (810)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.

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  (276): I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences. http://tfl.nu/f9jw
  Replies (8) Good night (3247) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.

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  (210): If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already. http://tfl.nu/pwun
  Replies (7) Good night (2538) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.

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  (256): Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby. http://tfl.nu/s0x6
  Replies (9) Good night (1900) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.

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  (317): Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road. http://tfl.nu/vlcv
  Replies (19) Good night (3304) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...

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  (314): He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on. (636): Sounds like he's doing this for your own good... http://tfl.nu/dn1j
  Replies (3) Good night (1557) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!

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  (802): Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy! http://tfl.nu/gv3p
  Replies (10) Good night (1212) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options

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  (303): We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options http://tfl.nu/lflv
  Replies (12) Good night (1899) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!

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  (901): You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?! http://tfl.nu/9kiq
  Replies (5) Good night (1135) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent

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  (+64): I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent http://tfl.nu/sl7e
  Replies (2) Good night (809) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.

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  (719): I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume. http://tfl.nu/djze
  Replies (4) Good night (1113) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club

  (716): View more from New York

  You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall

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  (585): The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club (716): You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall http://tfl.nu/3muu
  Replies (0) Good night (835) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.

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  (330): Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors. http://tfl.nu/c683
  Replies (0) Good night (497) Bad night (233)

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