Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.

  (1-865): View more from Tennessee

  i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml. (1-865): i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi. http://tfl.nu/9era
  Replies (35) Good night (719) Bad night (1423)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad? http://tfl.nu/ttkx
  Replies (18) Good night (1376) Bad night (5119)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said. http://tfl.nu/hb96
  Replies (58) Good night (7083) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's a beautiful day for a hangover

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): It's a beautiful day for a hangover http://tfl.nu/x1e7
  Replies (32) Good night (4570) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie. http://tfl.nu/a1e2
  Replies (12) Good night (4010) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on. http://tfl.nu/n5bj
  Replies (20) Good night (5022) Bad night (2248)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed. http://tfl.nu/8aru
  Replies (28) Good night (5242) Bad night (2159)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos. http://tfl.nu/pe3o
  Replies (9) Good night (3554) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato. http://tfl.nu/nu5y
  Replies (4) Good night (1389) Bad night (1231)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless. http://tfl.nu/y6il
  Replies (9) Good night (2847) Bad night (1282)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in. http://tfl.nu/6wlf
  Replies (16) Good night (1080) Bad night (1973)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment. http://tfl.nu/ippi
  Replies (5) Good night (1747) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom http://tfl.nu/tkh6
  Replies (8) Good night (2411) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time. http://tfl.nu/atlw
  Replies (1) Good night (813) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow http://tfl.nu/9zbv
  Replies (1) Good night (127) Bad night (339)

Randomize