come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.