Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.