yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
