Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!