Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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