I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
