i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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