Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
