He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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