So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
