It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
