I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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