This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
