Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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