His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
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Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
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I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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