The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
