i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
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It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
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No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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