if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You have to summon your inner elephant
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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