We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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