im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
