U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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