I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
