i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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