he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
