why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
