I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
bring money and cleavage
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
