was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
