I wish I could punch you in the face.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
no. you can't hotbox the world.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
