Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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