I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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