He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We left an ass print on the piano.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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