i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
