I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
