I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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