i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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