I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
