Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
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yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
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"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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