Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
And then he peed in my hair
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