Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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