I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
they're like a gay fantastic four
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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