Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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