Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
