when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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