help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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