Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
