Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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