what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
