He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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