You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
FUCK WHALES
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
