Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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