if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He has the fingertips of a God
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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